Primer for pols (2)

ENQUIRY
DEMAREE J.B. RAVAL

Primer for pols (2)
Sunday, 10 04, 2009

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5.) Claim to be the lesser of two evils. Convince your targets that you are the least offensive, and therefore, the better, option when it comes to a choice between two devils. This technique involves a lot of false humility, coupled by an admission of your own shortcomings and all-too-human frailties, while tarring your opposite number with a much blacker brush that, by contrast, you appear to be a repentant sinner or a reformed miscreant. Heap the blame on the other pol and tell your targets he is responsible for all the social and economic ills of the community, from the degeneration of morals to overpopulation to rampant criminality. Tell them you — and nobody else — are one of the only option left for them. And that your horns are yet blunt and your tail is shorter than the other devil.

6.) Call ‘em names. Use language or words that carry a negative connotation when describing your opponent. Do your damnedest best to stoke the fires of prejudice among your targets by labeling the other pol with something that the public dislikes. Use sarcasm and ridicule, like what one Palace factotum did when he labeled the opposition as hysterical, pathetic and delusional men who see ghosts where there are none. Or what the leader of an NGO did when he described Gibo as a "certified Amboy who is obsessed with military treaties, bases and troops." A subtle variation of this technique is called "damning with faint praise" — expressing admiration for someone so unenthusiastically as to imply condemnation. Consider this favorite praise of Leina de Legazpi: the benevolent empress at the Palace by the stinking river.

7.) Zoom in on the enemy. Keep the issue simple by pointing an accusing finger on the enemy; it often reduces a complex situation to a clear-cut choice involving good and evil. Simplify a complex situation by presenting one specific group or person as the enemy. Nothing else perhaps best illustrates this maneuver than the current battlecry a presidentiable has adopted these days, which goes something like this: "It’s a battle between Good and Evil!" Neat and simple. No elaborations. And the people out there listening to you are supposed to know who exactly are the good pols, and who the evil ones are.

8.) Be one of the plain folks. Convince your public that your views reflect those of the common person and that these views are also working for the benefit of the common person. Invent jokes and anecdotes about how simple and down-to-earth you are. Your public will lap it up and love you for being the underdog. Dive right into the heart of the crowd and shake every available hand that reaches out for you, make goo-goo eyes at infants, eat with your bare hands, find a convenient occasion to sing your own version of "My Way," pedal away in a traysikad, wade into the rice paddies to plant rice while dressed in designer shirt and pants, dance the limbo rock and deliberately make a fool of yourself. The gimmicks are endless and limited only by the far reaches of your imagination. In short, show that you are not a punyeta but, instead, one who is "laking Marikina." Increase the illusion through imperfect diction, a pronounced accent, a deliberate stutter, and a more limited vocabulary. Gaffes such as these tend to convince the masa that you are sincere and spontaneous. Couple this technique with glittering generalities, and you’ll be in like Flynn. You will convince your public that your attitudes and lifestyle are similar to their own and therefore more valid.

9.) Have that hand raised. When you have filled your war chest with enough contributions from your backers — whom you will eventually pay back with behest loans and other forms of patronage — and the presses are ready to roll off your campaign paraphernalia, be sure that there is a picture of you, grinning from ear to ear, with your hand raised by a famous person, say, a world boxing champ, an actress, as a testimonial to your integrity and political acumen. In addition, throw in quotations and endorsements — in or out of context, whatever — which clearly connect this famous person with you. This is called "celebrity endorsement" and is very closely connected to the transfer technique, where an attempt is made to link or shift to you the traits of a person that everyone adulates wildly and without any reservations. Remember: Many an undeserving pol was elected to office in 1987 just because his hand was raised by Cory Aquino.

10.) Lay on the astroturf. AstroTurf is a brand name for artificial grass. This word has metamorphosed into "astroturfing," to describe a form of political or public relations campaigning that seeks to create the impression that a particular event is a spontaneous, unpremeditated reply to the "grassroots," the ordinary folks among the populace. If you are a pol seeking election or simply wishing to do a good deed to boost the image of your party, you can disguise your public action as an independent reaction to the plight of the grassroots. For example, you could arrange to be simply "just in the area" when you catch sight of a poor old man living in a clapboard shack, and then you take pity on him and offer to relocate him to some decent place, give him a job, and offer to send his children to school, all because of the milk of human kindness that generously pours out of your compassionate breast. Of course, there should be also an "accidental" photojournalist to record the event. That’s astroturfing for you. Or if you are returning from a visit to Saudi Arabia, you can come home with a batch of OFWs that had long been stranded at the airport in Jeddah, and present them to the public as one of the incidental but glorious accomplishments of what was supposed to be a trip to attract more investors to the country. You get the trophy and the grassroots get their 15 minutes of fame at the NAIA.

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